Nightmares
by readwritereview20
Summary: An Eric one-shot. Eric survived the series, but he is plagued by guilt for what he has done.


Eric woke suddenly, sitting straight up in bed, his skin coated in layer of perspiration. He rested his head in his calloused hands, his elbows resting on his legs in. The nightmares, they had become a nightly occurrence, a part of his daily routine. Get up, go to work, come home, go to bed, wake up around three o'clock in the morning drenched in sweat and lost in a sea of regret for a few hours, finally get back to sleep just in time for his alarm clock to tear him back to reality once again. Repeat on loop, day in and day out, with only minor alterations on his day off.

The only change in this routine was the nightmares themselves, after all his mind had a vast array of material to choose from. Some were memories; others were reminders of roads not taken or dreams unattained. A perfect storm of regret, guilt, and pain designed by his own treacherous brain to torture him when during a time when he was powerless to fight back. More often than not, though, his dreams were about her. About that last night, the feeling of holding her in his arms as the life left her eyes. He could still feel the sickening, slick feeling of her blood on his hands. He could still hear her gasping for breath until finally her heart gave out and she slipped away.

"You look like hell."

He looked up to find Ava leaning in the door frame, her features silhouetted by the bright light of the hallway. Despite the darkness shading her face he could invasion the smirk on those pouty red lips of hers.

"Thank you for letting me know, I had no idea," He spits out before instantly regretting it, it isn't her fault that his mind has joined the rest of the city in despising him.

After Erudite was taken down by the joint forces of the Factionless and the half of Dauntless who had sided against Max and Jeanine, the faction system had crumbled. With Evelyn Johnson in charge, the division of jobs and rolls in society was no longer based on aptitude or faction.

While he had been allowed to live after it was all said and done, his reward for service rendered during that final skirmish, it didn't mean that anyone was happy about it. He could see his fellow citizen's hatred for him in every waking moment of his day, in their eyes every day and in the way the spoke to him; right down to the job he had been given.

"No need to be a jerk, Eric, it was just an observation," She sang in response to his wrath, tearing him from his thoughts. She crossed the room, slowly positioning herself next to him with her back against his headboard. She slowly brought her hands up to his shoulders, slowly kneading his tense shoulders.

His eyes rolled back in his head for a moment, the tension in his muscles beginning to melt away. He let himself enjoy her touch for only a moment before he shook his head, quickly flinging himself from the bed and storming off toward the kitchen to get himself something to eat since sleep was clearly no longer an option. He walked past the rooms of his three other roommates, an unpleasant side effect of being given a low paying job and being horribly unpopular.

He opened the fridge, retrieving the milk before turning and scouring the room for a clean bowl. Once he had located the bowl, he turned and made his way to the small table where a box of cereal was awaiting him.

He had just poured himself a bowl of cereal when she sat in the chair across the table from him, her green eyes watching him intently through her bangs as they fell over her face. "Do you want to talk about it?"

He set his spoon down letting out a noise somewhere between a growl and a hysterical chuckle, "No, I don't want to talk about it." She slowly reached out her hand to touch his left hand, but he quickly pulled it back before returning to eating his breakfast.

They sat in silence until Trevor, the occupant of the room closest to the kitchen walked in, still half asleep from the looks of it. He nodded in Eric's direction before fumbling through the fridge for an apple.

"If you won't talk to me, maybe you could at least try talking to Trev," Ava pleaded softly, motioning toward the older man.

Eric scoffed, rolling his grey eyes over dramatically, "I told you, I don't bloody need to talk about it."

Trevor glanced in the direction of the table before taking his cue to leave. "See what you've done, you scared him off," Ava chastised, "Maybe people wouldn't hate you so much if you weren't such an ass." Eric stood, growling loudly before angrily stomping toward his bedroom to get ready for work.

That evening when Eric returned from work, his three roommates were all relaxing in the living room. He was exhausted, it had been a long day at work and every muscle in his body felt like it was on fire. He supposed that some might consider it poetic justice. He was a genius, a once feared leader of the Dauntless faction, and now that the faction system had been dissolved, he was a trash collector. A garbage man, and you had better believe that the others though it was absolutely hilarious.

He had no interest in interacting with the others tonight, so he walked straight to the kitchen to get something to eat. He had just pulled a loaf of bread out to make himself a sandwich when he heard her voice again. He looked over his shoulder to find Ava sitting cross-legged on the table, a half-eaten apple in one hand. She smiled at him, her emerald eyes alight with their usual mischief as she continued to chew.

"Long day?" She asked as she swallowed.

He turned back to his sandwich, trying his best to ignore her, hoping that she'll go away. He hears the shuffling caused by her climbing from the table, but instead of hearing her footsteps retreat, he hears her walk up behind him before climbing onto the counter next to him. He continues to focus on his food, until her hand finds the collar of his shirt, pulling him toward her until he is standing directly in front of her, between her legs.

She leans forward slowly, kissing upward along his jawline until she reaches his ear, "I know something that might make you feel better."

He lets out a long, exasperated breath before giving in and burying his hand in her hair. He pulls her back gently until he can reach her lips. He brings his other hand to rest on the back of her neck and pulls her to him until their lips collide.

The sudden sound of someone clearing their throat pulls him out of the moment, simultaneously bring him back to reality and causing him to pull back and meet the curious gaze of one of his other roommates, Monica.

He watches her for a moment, taking in the look of confusion and concern on her face. He turns, slapping the top slice of bread onto his sandwich, and walking toward his room. He has barely bade it through the door when Ava grabs his arm. "Eric, babe, I…"

That is the last straw. He loses it, slamming his door shut and pinning her to the door. "Shut up! Just shut up. You aren't her, and you aren't actually here." He thinks back to that moment, at the end of the attack on Erudite. He remembers holing her against his chest as she gasped for air. "You aren't really here, Ava, you're dead."

"I know that, genius," She says ducking under his arm and setting on the foot of his bed. "I'm just a manifestation of your guilt. Your brain is wracked with guilt for all you've done, your nightmares are one form of punishment you've inflicted on yourself, and I'm another. I mean, who else would you listen to? It would have to be the person that you feel you've wronged the most, Crazy." She stands again, walking over to him, grabbing his shirt collar and pulling him down until his forehead is resting against her own. "You killed me, Eric. "

He takes in a long, ragged breath, "I loved you."

"I know," She says lightly, as tears fall from her eyes, "But not enough to change, so now you have to live with the guilt, in whatever forms it presents itself. Your punishment for all those that you have killed and wronged is to live, to live alone with the pain and guilt." She pulls back and looks into his grey orbs, "Goodnight Eric."

And with that he is left alone once again, until his brain deems it time to torture him once again.


End file.
